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    May 24

    releasing...

    2008年5月24日17：28，周末，一个人在家
    很凄楚，至少心里是这么觉得的
    突然忍不住打开space，用文字宣泄一下沉积许久许久的压抑
    这实在耗费了莫大的勇气，逼自己去面对那些千疮百孔的生活片断
    最近过得不如意，单调、乏味
    如果说开始的时候还会因为面试继而鄙视之类的事情恼怒，现在已经完全没了动力和气力
    想到有很多事情做的时候会心烦，没有事情做的时候又会意乱
    我越来越搞不懂自己需要一种怎样的生活，好像什么都想要，却始终没有实际行动
    然后开始阿Q式的自我安慰，结果往往是压抑的更深，爆发的更猛烈
    脑子里面乱七八糟的没个条理，又不知道要跟谁说
    恶性循环，最终的结果是不停的自我折磨
    又开始独自游走，上课、吃饭、自修……
    我其实是多么的害怕寂寞，可是，大家都忙
    于是，我疯狂的渴求忙碌，几乎到了变态的程度
    通宵赶一个案例，这给了我莫大的快感，身心愈是疲惫、心情却越发的愉悦
    只是，这样的昙花一现之后，生活又回到了老样子
    一切都是自作自受的，我明白
    我不想胡思乱想，可是我做不到
    我想找人倾诉，可是我几近失语
    打开电脑之前，哭到抽搐
    写完之后，又是一阵麻木
    我不知道明天我还能不能告诉自己 我挺得住
    然后假装自己无坚不摧
    5:48 PM | Blog it

    Comments (7)

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    springwrote:
    我开始明白什么叫环境压迫人了。。
    树欲静而风不止。
     
    不如，叶子，我知道这没啥用，不过你要是想逃离一下下的时候。。就来找我吧。。
    May 30
    嗡 嗡wrote:
    叶子。。。
    May 26
    Jamie Yewrote:
    dear,改天high一记
     
    不要难过，一切慢慢来～
    加油！！
    May 25
    琦 董wrote:
    恺，我了解你现在的心情！
    其实真的没必要想太多，没必要因为别人而打乱自己的脚步！
    我一直坚信你很强，现在的看似停止是为了迎接真正属于你的时刻的到来！
    你一定会走出属于你的路！
    不要太悲伤啦！我一直都在你身边，如果你想找人倾诉的话！
    May 24
    虫 蝈蝈wrote:
    身心愈是疲惫、心情却越发的愉悦
    原来每个人都用这一招...
    May 24
    Elaine Jiangwrote:
    快找你们鞠斋小朋友们出来说说话阿~~
    May 24
    ye xiawrote:
    俄，不晓得说啥，自修这种事情我已经一个学期没做过了~~
    May 24

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